Sex. When teenagers hear the word, they may break out into a grin or show some visible discomfort. As teenagers progress through high school, having sex becomes a reality for some. Despite years of sexual education and access to pornography, it’s hard to be all-knowing on a subject so complex. Because Berkeley High School has a large, diverse student body, exploring its hookup culture offers a window into the broader experiences of Bay Area teenagers. Peering through that window, it’s clear that BHS students have developed nuanced feelings about sex, and many engage in harmful practices that should be addressed.
It’s important to first understand how BHS students define sex, hookups, and “losing your virginity.” Students expressed conflicting stances on the definition of the ambiguous term of “hooking up.” Some cited “making out” or “a one-time thing” as indicators of a hookup. Evidently, the understanding of the term is not universal and easily misconstrued.
In a Jacket survey of 50 BHS students, 86 percent of responders believed that engaging in penetrative sex is the signifier of whether someone is a virgin or not.
“Penetrative sex is the closest you can be to someone,” Nina, a BHS sophomore, said, “So, when you (have) penetrative sex, you are unlocking a completely new and special world, and thus you reserve the right to say you have lost your virginity.”
44 percent of the surveyed students said that they had lost their virginity (based on their personal definition of the term). “I would imagine the upperclassmen make up the majority of the people who have sex,” Lawrence, a BHS sophomore, said, “Freshmen and sophomores just haven’t had as much time to experiment, but once people get to 16 or 17 years old, they begin to dabble in more sexual activities.” The association between feeling more mature and having more sex may be an incentivizing factor in teen sexual intercourse, but should by no means be the sole reason people have it. “You notice older people you look up to having sex, and then once you do it, you feel like … you are cooler because you are doing stuff that only older people are doing,” Nina said, “People see having sex as a milestone, or just a box to check.” Sex should not be treated this lightly; you can’t “take it back” once you have had it, and it’s not worth checking a box over something that can have long-lasting effects.
It is common for teenagers to participate in sex, take drugs, or other risky behaviors just to say they have, but this is not a good justification to take on something so monumental. While this desire to fit in is natural — the brain’s reward system is highly sensitive to social approval during adolescence, while the pre-frontal cortex, which regulates impulse control, is still developing — some BHS students believe that sex in particular deserves to be treated more thoughtfully. “People shouldn’t do it just to do it,” Lawrence said, “At BHS, hookup culture is definitely normalized, so it’s important to think about the person you are having sex with and what the impact of that can be.” By not treating each sexual encounter with the attention it deserves, people will engage in sex that is less emotionally impactful. And when teenagers spiral from misconceptions about what their peers are doing, they begin to mirror the sex they assume is happening, and less meaningful sex becomes the norm. Malea Raffetseder, a clinician at the BHS Health Center, affirmed that teenagers often have an inaccurate perception of what others are and are not doing. “Research shows that when it comes to … risky behaviors, people — especially teens — often overestimate how many of their peers are participating. In reality, the numbers are much lower than most assume.” This was reflected in the data: 58 percent of respondents believed that their peers were having more sex than they were.
BHS students questioned “hookups,” or sexual encounters outside of relationships. “I think that (having sex with someone who is not your partner) could be awkward or … problematic,” Benjamin, a BHS freshman, said, “If you don’t know the person that well, they could give you an STI. A lot of problems can come because you aren’t able to trust them deeply.” STIs, or sexually transmitted infections, are conditions like gonorrhea or HIV that are spread through sexual contact. A survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that 15- to 24-year-olds, despite making up 25 percent of the sexually experienced population, acquired half of all STIs.
The survey found that over half of respondents had used no protection (condoms, dental dams, etc.) during their last sexual encounter. This is despite BHS’ sexual education courses. While people should be able to decide which types of protection work best for them, they must use protection at some level. Given the accessible resources that the Health Center provides — condoms, IUDs, dental dams, just to name a few — there isn’t much excuse to use no form of protection. Additionally, BHS freshmen spend a unit where they are provided with a range of sex education, from how to put on a condom, to the steps one can take if they become pregnant and choose not to carry to term. Furthermore, a whole week is dedicated to STI prevention and treatment, with heavy emphasis put on using protection. “I think that sometimes … guys can be like, ‘oh, but I don’t want to wear protection,’ so (the person with whom they’re having sex) has to take on that responsibility by themself … which just isn’t fair,” Nina said.
With so many unique connections and situations among students, no single encounter will be representative of a 3200-person student body. But by exploring the general ideas surrounding sex at BHS, it is clear that some things should change. Firstly, students need to wear protection during sex. With the free resources provided by the Health Center (including “every contraception method except sterilization,” according to Raffetseder), students can protect their health and safety. Secondly, students must not treat sex lightly. Sex should be practiced as an expression of love. BHS students should not normalize hookups and instead remain patient until the opportunity presents itself within a trusting relationship. Although sex can add to the closeness of a relationship, BHS students should not feel pressured to engage in it until they are fully ready. High school is an important period of development and socialization, and it is important to remember that students are still young people, still have so much to learn, and that sex is not a prerequisite to fulfillment or maturity.