For many athletes, the community and culture built on a team is the most important part of their experience. The community and team culture can either foster an athlete’s love for their sport or drive them away. However, how these aspects are shaped rests heavily on how the team’s coach cultivates relationships and the environment. If a coach creates a toxic and stressful environment, it can end up overshadowing an athlete’s love for their sport.
Many athletes who experience a toxic coaching environment have either quit or been close to quitting. Kayla Topel is a Berkeley High School junior student athlete who has struggled with coaching focused on results rather than the player. She said, “I just feel that because of how much stress was put on me and other players to perform at our highest ability, the enjoyment of making mistakes and learning, which is such a big part of sports, and having that ability to grow was taken away.”
When an athlete’s autonomy and ability to make mistakes is supported by their coach, they are much more likely to grow and develop. “I always felt scared, I never felt like I was really learning because I was too afraid to make any mistakes. And for that reason, I feel that it took the love out of being able to get better,” Topel said.
Being afraid to play and make mistakes stunts growth as both a player and person. Athletes deal with high stress in different ways, and when coaching style clashes with a player’s learning style it can result in a lack of growth from the player. Coaches may see less improvement on their team, and players can become more anxious during games.
Arson Ormsby is a BHS senior student athlete, and he loves his sport because of the escape it brings him. “It’s always been kind of an escape for me. So whenever times are just tough or I’m annoyed, I’ve always found that whenever I’m playing ... that somehow just all goes away. So being able to just play a sport that I love and have that happen is just great,” Ormsby said.
The times when Ormsby hasn’t had a good experience throughout a season has been impacted by the coaching. In the past, he has felt as if the team wasn’t set up for everyone to succeed together. “I’ve had a lot of coaches in my lifetime, but I didn’t feel like I was really valued as much,” shared Ormsby. There wasn’t a constant negative environment within his sport, but when issues occurred, he felt like “there wasn’t really a coach figure. I didn’t look forward to playing, which kind of made me sad too.”
Lilah Montoya, a BHS sophomore student athlete, puts an emphasis on students playing for themselves rather than their coach. “We wanted to play for our coach, and sometimes we didn’t even want to play for ourselves. It was always like, play just so you don’t get dropped, or be put on the bench,” Montoya said.
For her, this made her question why she was still playing and with a combination of circumstances pushing her away from the sport — she lost her passion for it. In particular, Montoya believes that the competition for playing time wasn’t set up in a healthy way that encouraged bonding, but rather it was set up in a way that fostered rivalry on the team.
Keanu Moss, a BHS junior student athlete, thinks constructive criticism from coaches is important. “I want them to be hard on me so I get better, but I also want them to be supportive and actually help me get better. I feel like, last year, my coaching was kind of just telling me the obvious stuff and just yelling at me to do better instead of actually helping me,” he said.
Moss emphasizes that many play high school sports for fun and to create friendships. Overly strict coaching can take the enjoyment out of practices and games, especially when players feel unsupported. “Just you know, worrying about making an error or messing up, because a lot of the stricter coaching comes from the coaches yelling at the kids for small errors,” Moss explained.
Nadine Fraser, a BHS sophomore and former athlete, spoke about how increased stress negatively impacts the experiences on a team. “It was just very stressful, once you’re on the team, you could never feel relaxed. You were always, constantly in the fear that you were going to be kicked off. I could never get out of my head. If I went on, I would be so stressed about messing up that I never let myself actually play, so I wouldn’t do as well,” Fraser said.
Fraser appreciates a competitive environment and feels that it can help students improve as athletes, but also believes a supportive coach and team is integral.
“The community on the team is honestly the most important part, I love playing, and I love the competitiveness of it. But I think for me, it’s so important to have people that support you, and I think that above everything else, it’s something that I really enjoy doing,” Topel explained.
Sports teams with more tight knit players often function better and play with more cohesion. If coaches set up a team in a way that focuses on working together, the outcome on player’s mental health and skills will be positive and teammate bonds will improve. “I like having people that I can have a second family with,” Topel said.
Overall, poor or toxic coaching can push athletes away from sports. It is important that coaches put strong teammate relationships and respect first. Community, passion, and love for the sport are what fosters healthy relationships on sports teams.